Stealing Recipes

My grandparents cook without recipes. Getting them to give you a recipe is almost impossible; even getting a list of ingredients can prove challenging. I have gained experience in how to extract recipes from them. I will share my secrets and describe my method.

Invitation

The only way to get the recipe is to watch them do it and observe what they do and write it all down.

The first decision to make is location. There are pros and cons to doing it in their kitchen versus yours. In their kitchen they have the tools they are used to. They may have a favourite cup to measure flour or be able to estimate in their pans. Taking them out of their element will be disruptive to their cooking. However, they will often focus more in your kitchen. I know my grandparents are constantly working on many things at once. It becomes unclear if something is sitting on the counter because it needs to sit or because something else needs attention.

If you are going to do it in their home, you're going to need to bring some of your own tools. I recommend the following:

Notebook and pen

This is where you will write down your observations. I find that writing on papers gets lost, so I have a section of a notebook dedicated to this. A smaller notebook is better since it will be more unobtrusive when working. Make sure it is reasonably rugged since it will get covered in food.

Calibrated Measuring Devices

If my grandmother says she has teaspoons, she means the things you stir your tea with, not the calibrated measuring spoons. Bring some of those and some cups.

Scale and calculator

Measuring by weight is the best way to reduce variability in the recipe. Since there will probably be arithmetic involved to make use of the scale's amounts, I suggest a calculator.

Funky Hardware

If the dish requires some funky hardware, like the board for gnocchi, the fiérrë for maccarunë, bring it to have it approved. If you don't have one of these thingies, you should start looking. They will probably tell you they got theirs from Old Country before the war, so you'll have to find an equivalent. You'd be amazed what is available at resturuant supply stores. Also, ethic stores, Chinatown, dollar stores, and hardware store all might carry the thing you need or something functionally equivalent. Be warned, they'll never know it by the same name, so you must browse. You can also try the Google. Another person may have posted this question to a forum. Sometimes, you have to really think: I could not find a fiérrë, a small square rod, to make maccarunë, so I went to talk to a machinst and he told me to look for key stock. That was easy to find.

Watch

For timing, since they don't.

Instant-Read Thermometer

This is not always necessary, but for frying, it's nice to know the oil temperature. It can also be useful for certain meats, but since my grandparents like to overcook meat, I don't bother. It is probably useful in stove-top braising, poaching, and other sub-boiling techniques.

Everything is Important

Assume everything they do is important. Most of it isn't. In fact, much of it is probably pointless. For now, get it all down. If you can make this dish multiple times and take an average, so much the better. This is an important distinction: don't write anything they tell you. Write what you observe. They may tell you things that are misleading or just plain wrong. It's probably not intentional. If you want to write it down, note that it was not observed.

Be as precise as possible. If you know the cooking vocabulary, use it. Putting oil and garlic in a pan can be a sauté or a sweat depending on the temperature. If you don't know the difference, write down what setting the stove is at. Does the garlic blister? colour? Is it covered in oil? Is it in a shallow pan? non-stick pan? Is the garlic minced? crushed? halved? Imagine describing it to someone who is not in the room.

Take every opportunity to do instead of watch. If dough is involved, touch it, squeeze it, and stretch it. If dough is not something you handle frequently, bring some modeling clay or cheese wax and try to describe the dough relative to those.

Examine ingredients thoroughly. Write down brand names and, if you aren't familiar with them, find out where they get them. My grandmother has very specific rules about which brands of flour she uses for what. She doesn't understand why, but some are better. What she is really looking for is the amount of protein in the flour. Robin Hood All-Purpose flour has lower protein content than Five Roses All-Purpose, making the Robin Hood better suited to cake and pastry and the Five Roses to pasta. Ask if they always use this brand.

How to Measure

Measuring ingredients is hard. If you have a scale, I would measure everything by weight. Even if you want a recipe by volume, a scale is convenient because you can shove it under their work bowl and just keep measuring. If you are measuring by volume, you'll just have keep shoving cups under their hands and measuring before they drop it into the bowl. My grandmother's pasta was particularly annoying because she would make it too wet, then add flour, then it would be too dry and she would add more water. My solution for that particular recipe was the weigh the bag of flour before and after and weigh the dough at the end. Then I could calculate the amount of flour and water in the dough.

Measuring time is fairly easy. Just remember to do it.

Quantifying the Measurements

The question I ask most frequenty is what are you looking for?. That is the golden question. This is most important during the cooking. Given they don't time, what are they looking for? Is it the colour? smell? cracks? puffing? This is also important in doughs and batters. How do you know it is kneaded enough? stickiness? smoothness? colour?

If you are learning a technique, after you've rolled or folded a few whatevers, describe what you are doing to them in different words and see that they are satisfied. This can be especially important if there is a language barrier.

Don't ask why. The probably don't know or their answer is wrong.

Fixing the Recipe

Once you have observed it, come home and immediately rewrite it in a standard recipe format. Do any calculations you need for you ingredients. If you measured in weight but want volume, use your scale to convert by measuring the same weight in a calibrated container. If there is a strange technique, like rolling maccarunë, write it down in a detailed set of steps. Draw pictures if it helps. It is important to do this while it is fresh in your mind.

Try to make it. Make it with all the strange and seemingly pointless steps. If you get something pretty darn close, you may begin whittling; if not, make it again and, if that fails, observe again. There is also a lot of variablility in their cooking. If it consistently comes out to watery, assume your measurement is off and decrease it.

The recipe at this point is full of seemingly useless steps or things that are way too complicated. Pick something that seems illogical or laborious and change it. If your change works, keep it. Keep whittling down the recipe until you think it is manageable. In some recipes, I have taken the opposite approach. I have stripped the recipe down to what I think are essential steps and added steps back. Some steps require patience to get right. After years, we are still learning how to make a frittata. It can be very hard to tell non-sense from critical steps. Kneading the ground beef in meat balls changes the texture. Pressing down calzone makes them fluffier. I didn't know that until I took them out of the recipe. Besure to log your subsequent attemps in your notebook. If skipping a step makes it chewy, it's the only way you'll know.

In parallel, you can also start changing the ingredients. My grandmother's dishes tend to be extremely high in fat. A lot of times, this can be drastically reduced without changing the dish substantially. You can also see if the particular brands they use are better suited to this recipe than others.

The Ultimate Test

The final challenge for your newly transcribed recipe is to make it for them. If it gets the seal of approval, it's a keeper.

Peasant Cooking

Most of the recipes I've tried to capture are peasant dishes made when people had a fair amount of time on their hands. Really, one must have been pretty bored to consider rolling stuff in a cabbage leaf. There are two hallmarks of peasant cooking: intricate steps and long cooking times.

Intricate steps are probably unavoidable. Making cabbage rolls or maccarunë are going to be extremely laborious just because of the effort required to form each one. I try to remind myself that if it was winter in the Ukraine before TV, I'd probably be pretty bored too. That being said, there are cheats. Cabbage roll casserole made like a lasagna tastes pretty much the same and tagliatelle made with a pasta machine are much better than any store bought pasta.

Long slow cooking times are definitely unavoidable. Long slow cooking times are not a product of too much time. They are a necessary way to tenderise meats and extract flavours. Long gentle cooking causes connective tissue in meat to break down. Even though we may have better ingredents now, a long slow cook will always make for more tender meat. It's also important to remember that water is a solvent. Cooking soup for hours is necessary because that is the time needed to extract the flavours from the ingredients. If you want to make things quicker, don't resort to increasing the heat and shortening the cooking time. The answer is more likely in technology. Would it be better in a pressure cooker? slow cooker? Can you make a huge batch and freeze it fully cooked? prepared but uncooked? ingredients prepped? some ingredients? Another technique to note is a braise: a long slow cook just below a simmer. It comes up a lot and you'll probably want to simmer or boil instead. If you cook too hot, your dish will never tenderise the same way.

It's also important to understand that somethings have changed. My grandparent cook pork to shoeleather, but their reason was good. When they were growing up, most pigs were fed scraps and the meat was frequently contaminated with trichinosis. Grocery-store pork is fed grain and regulated so it doesn't contain trichinosis, therefore doesn't need to be cooked as much.

Closing

There's a joke I like: A recently married woman makes a ham for her husband. He says that it is fantastic, but asks why she cut the ends off. She replies that her mother made great ham and she always cut the ends off. They call her mother and ask why she cuts the ends of her ham. In turn, she says that her mother made great ham and she always cut the ends off. They then call her grandmother and inquire why she cut the ends of her hams. The grandmother says that she never had a pan big enough.

Good luck!